Do I know the song automatically? Or like, do I have to defeat someone in single combat to get to learn the song?

I can teleport instantly to any location I have previously visited.

I agree, but the doomer in me just figures we’ll be on to the next grift. Fuck.

That was my ending of choice as well.

I think you’re making my point. First, you’re right that passkeys can’t be phished. But access to the passkey manager can be. And now you’ve doubled your exposure to leaky third parties, once with the service you’re accessing and another with the passkey manager.

Why do you have the 4-digit PIN? Well, it’s just to unlock the part of your device where the private key is stored.

And there is the problem I have with passkeys. With a password it is me authenticating to the service I’m using. Pretty straight forward (if you ignore the operating system, web browser, network protocols, etc., but that’s part of using the tech).

With passkeys you’ve got this third party storing your keys that increases your attack surface. It could be your web browser, your OS, or some cloud provider that you’re now relying on to keep your data safe. I get that for people whose password is “password123” or who aren’t savvy enough to avoid phishing maybe this helps. But with decent opsec this overly complicates authentication, IMO.

To my point, later in the article:

Securing your cloud account with strong 2FA and activating biometrics is crucial.

What’s that now? The weak point is the user’s ability to implement MFA and biometrics? The same users who couldn’t be bothered to create different passwords for different sites? You see how we’ve just inserted another layer into the authentication process without solving for the major weakness?

With my tinfoil hat on I suspect this push toward passkeys is just another corporate data and/or money grab – snake oil for companies to get their tentacles tighter around your digital existence.

Happy to be proven wrong.

You can totally tell when something was designed by committee. Lack of consistency in flow and purpose.

Worst part about that scenario is we wouldn’t know how good we had it. We couldn’t have imagined this shit storm clusterfuck timeline.

But, but… How do we extract value from it? No micro transactions? No ad revenue? Can we sell it? Write it off as a loss? Is there at least a credit card reader so aliens can sign up for recurring payments?

I love your post capitalist optimism!

Magnificent comment top to bottom, but this:

He looks like a penis made a wish at a Zoltar machine.

chef’s kiss

She’s not fucking around. Put a ring on it.

The “Unclassified” in the corner is the icing on the cake. Like, either someone had to make the decision on the classification level appropriate for goose confrontations or somewhere there exists a more detailed, unredacted version that has national security implications.

Be me, 16 yo., in basement bedroom chilling. Hear/feel a thud feels like the whole house just got picked up and dropped a few inches. Meet dad’s fiance who had been chilling in the den at the top of the stairs, confused. Eventually look outside through the darkness to see something strange in the front yard. Jump in the car, swing the headlights around to reveal a smoking wreck wrapped around a pine tree in the front yard. Rush out to find what remains of the driver gurgling his last attempts at breaths. Call 911, volunteer firefighters show up within minutes. Nothing to be done. Dude was paste from the inside out. Drunk driving, speeding, and didn’t make the curve.

As an aside, DOT shows up a few days later to trim all of our pine trees with branches at ground level to have no branches below about six feet. Presumably to make it easier the next time? Looked ridiculous.

But yeah, that gurgle was something else. Never heard anything like it before or since.

This comic is dumb. That CEO would have a prepared and well rehearsed response to that question with a bunch of big words and some dog whistle to keeping immigrants from raping your daughters. “The free market can perform the function of rehabilitation better than some bloated bureaucracy. With state-run prisons, inmates of all kinds are released early because there isn’t enough room, regardless of the nature of their crime. This way, you and your family can sleep safely, can attend little league games, and walk down your streets without having to worry what is hiding just around the corner.”

Thinking about the whole “Antifa is a terror organization” announcement from our dear leader.

Next step: “It is un-American not to have Disney+ in your household. Only members of Antifa or trans people don’t have Disney+. It will be mandatory for every patriotic God loving US citizen to have Disney+ in their home and on at least three hours per week. Anyone found not to be watching the party approved level of Disney programming will be taxed $21.99 per month and the proceeds put into a new ‘Mickey Patriot Fund’.”

This is the best take yet.

A-fucking-men

How cute, thinking the rules matter.