There are 23 movies in the Air Bud cinematic universe. Everyone always talks about the first Air Bud. The basketball one. The dog does a trick and boops the basketball into the hoop. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. If I’m on the losing team to that, I can applaud that. That’s fine, whatever, I’d hurt my nose doing that. Cool. The rest of the team played well, too.
Now imagine being a kid on a sports team six years later. You arrive to your beach volleyball court and see you’re playing against a dog. You might think, woah, the dog is just gonna boop the ball with his nose, right? Cool fucking trick, he’s old as shit and has no new ones. Wrong. In Air Bud: Spikes Back, the fifth Air Bud movie, the eponymous Air Bud jumps up to the net and spikes a ball down on the opposing team. If I’m on the losing team to that, I fucking quit volleyball forever. There’s no going back. Your dad doesn’t ask how the game was, he saw the dog spike that shit on you on ESPN. What were you supposed to do? My fucking bad, our libero is a piece of shit who can’t dig it up from a FUCKING DOG??? Where the FUCK is our middle blocker??? Which one of you pieces of shit let’s the dog go unmarked after that??? Slam the fucking ball into him, holy shit! No wonder we lost, they were too busy laughing their asses off while we floundered to get the ball over the net! Holy fucking shit, Andre, if you set the ball up so the FUCKING DOG GETS A CHANCE TO BLOCK ME WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU THE SETTER?!? No way, there is NO WAY anyone plays volleyball on that team again. Half that team kills themselves from the ridicule after that. The other half moves across the country and changes their names and faces. That dog ruins their lives. All to win a volleyball game.
I had to look it up, but yes, there is an oddly large number of air bud films in existence.
Babe wake up new copypasta just dropped!
This would make an excellent copypasta, if it isn’t already.
I thought the plot of the movie was they didn’t have enough for a full team, except this one weird loophole allows a dog to play.
From Wikipedia, he was just a mascot until:
The Timberwolves struggle in the championship game and an injury leaves them with four players. Buddy shows up to the crowd’s cheers. After it is discovered that there is no rule preventing a dog from playing basketball, he is added to the roster and…
spoiler
leads the team to victory.
jesus christ those spoilers
Can you imagine if the plot of Air Bud was learning the valuable lesson that dogs don’t understand court strategy or rules and they get crushed?
“why did we do this?”
“we thought… we thought… I don’t know what we thought.”
Ok but it’s not the NBA, you can easily just grab a kid and put a jersey on him lol
you can easily just grab a kid and put a jersey on him lol
Pro-tip: don’t do this.
I’ve never actually seen it, but I assumed that was the plot.
To be fair, if a dog is better at basketball than you maybe it’s time to try a different hobby or practice harder next year.
Calling Air Bud of all people just “a dog” is wildly absurd though. It’s a bit like saying you got beaten by “some short guy at the park” and it was Spud Webb. It’s Air Bud, father of Budderball, B-Dawg, Buddha, MudBud, and RoseBud. There’s clearly something in his genes. He’d have been competitive up to the college level, at LEAST. How do you even stop this:
Stop telling me that, Dad!!!
Or the kid who didn’t get adopted because a family chose a mouse instead.
Yeah, that’s why I prefer the book, where the woman gives birth to a normal healthy baby boy, who just so happens to look exactly like a mouse.
Yeah but those kids sucked
It’s the system man, it’s all rigged for the mice
