So, my good friend (18m) had a falling out with his ex (19m) because the ex bullied him and also because he is apparently dating a 16f, so my friend thinks he is a pedophile for obvious reasons (adult + minor).
I can see why this would be considered bad but also, when I turn 16, my girlfriend will be 19 too, as I am currently a young sophomore who is about 3 years younger than her girlfriend, a senior.
Doesn’t it?
These line up with my intuition for the age gap being acceptable, not something that should raise eyebrows. A little outside that becomes a warning sign. A lot outside that is almost certainly abusive.
21 and 17 can be a big gap, even 20 and 17 can be. It’s not as clear cut as 22, which can also be sketchy but is at least recognized as fully legal everywhere. I think there’s too much diversity in maturity and life experience at those young ages, the potential for issues increases so those kinds of relationships are inherently concerning in ways that relationships involving legal adults are not. I’m not saying they are inherently problematic, but if you know people with that kind of age gap you should be looking out for the underage person to ensure they aren’t being taken advantage of.