So, my good friend (18m) had a falling out with his ex (19m) because the ex bullied him and also because he is apparently dating a 16f, so my friend thinks he is a pedophile for obvious reasons (adult + minor).
I can see why this would be considered bad but also, when I turn 16, my girlfriend will be 19 too, as I am currently a young sophomore who is about 3 years younger than her girlfriend, a senior.
First off: if, then he wouldn’t be a pedophile but a hebephile. Small, but important difference.
Second: there are the laws. If you’re breaking laws, it could quickly become a problem (obviously).
But finally, what you were actually getting to: it really depends. There are plenty of age cases that are unacceptable no matter what (e.g. if he were 25 instead of 19, for instance). People mature differently. I’ve met people who were 16 where you could think they were 20, and vice-versa. If one is much more mature than the other, than you have a power imbalance, and that’s the problem. And that can happen with two people of the same age, as well (although it’s less likely).
So, no, 16 and 19 isn’t necessarily wrong, per se. The question is: is the relationship in question problematic?