• jve@lemmy.world
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    15 hours ago

    push ahead

    These two words completely mischaracterize the situation.

    Guessing you haven’t bothered with the links I posted, since you haven’t spoken to them and continue to just try to find ways to pick at some point that I’m not trying to make, but I encourage you to take a few minutes to read them with an open mind.

    • RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz
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      15 hours ago

      But you know there’s a chance that they’re bothered by you, that they’re stuck in the situation and you still carry on with trying to connect with them. What wording would you use for the situation?

      • jve@lemmy.world
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        15 hours ago

        I like to think of it as giving people an opening.

        Make a comment or two that invites discussion. If it takes, great. Maybe chat for a minute, maybe for a while.

        If not, oh well, better luck next time.

        Wo is interested and who is not is extremely easy to discern, in my opinion. The fact that you clearly think otherwise is not surprising, but I do think it’s easier than you give it credit for.

        • RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz
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          15 hours ago

          A lot of people pretend so as not to seem rude. Also you never know how the other person will react otherwise.

          I know you find enjoyment in it, I’m just saying that planes and such places where people are stuck with you are pretty risky.

          • jve@lemmy.world
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            14 hours ago

            And I will respectfully point out that you seem to be arguing entirely from vibes and anecdotes.

            • RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz
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              14 hours ago

              You agreed that you never know how the situation goes. And I’m guessing we agree that people are stuck in planes. So why risk it, if you’re going to potentially be making the situation suck for the other person, I’m wondering

              • jve@lemmy.world
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                13 hours ago

                why risk it?

                Because there’s almost no risk involved.

                So why risk it, if you’re going to potentially be making the situation suck for the other person, I’m wondering

                Answers to this question, and more, are provided in some of the links provided.

                The chances of making “the situation suck” are exceedingly small. The chances it “goes well” are quite high. A couple friendly words between strangers. A story to tell later.

                Of particular note

                His curiosity led to a series of experimentsrevealing that train and bus commuters who interacted with other passengers experienced a more pleasant ride — even when they believed they would prefer the solitude of, say, reading a book.

                It is fear that the person sitting next to us won’t enjoy talking to us that makes us keep to ourselves, Epley found. But when we do talk to each other, those social interactions with strangers tend to be both less awkward and more enjoyable than most people predict.

                You seem to completely discount this possibility, while simultaneously overblowing the risk.

                • RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz
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                  13 hours ago

                  It just seems a bit selfish to try and “connect” in a sotuation where they can’t leave. I get that it is your thing but at least on a plane it would be bettee to just chill for the duration of it. After all nothing negative about that, they might try to connect with you if they’re up for it

                  • jve@lemmy.world
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                    13 hours ago

                    There may be a selfish component to it. Doesn’t make it a selfish act.

                    I get that it’s your thing

                    It’s my thing after I read a few of these papers (you can find the links, and read them if you like, they’re in my other comments) and started giving it a shot.

                    it would be bettee to just chill for the duration of it.

                    Yes, you have made it very clear that for you, you believe that this is the case.

                    The data show that a lot of people feel this way before they try it, but are pleasantly surprised after.

                    After all nothing negative about that, they might try to connect with you if they’re up for it

                    Nothing negative about what? “Being chill?” I think you’ll find that I’m pretty chill.

                    You seem to think I’m nagging them for the duration, but as I’ve explained, it’s really more of creating an opening.