“I’m calling it: another global pandemic-free year! And the sweet song of Lady Liberty spreading from that shining city on a hill in Washington, D.C.!”
2026 marks the first year in American history where a completely home-grown pandemic forces borders to close, and air-traffic to be redirected as to avoid receiving American passengers. The EU, Arab League, and countless other countries congratulate themselves on rapidly orchestrating the containment of the disease to the USA; truly a landmark moment for international relations. Meanwhile, a Georgetown-based super-PAC “La di libertine” gains untold amounts of influence in government, following an uncannily well-timed short-sale of AI-based stocks. When asked about speculations as to their ties to Italian crime syndicates and fascist hardliners, they declined to comment.
I already learned my lesson here.
Last time I said something like that was November of 2019.
Man, 2020 really did seem hopeful back in 2019, didn’t it? New decade, presidential election coming up… What could possibly go wrong?
Narrator: And that’s when the Fire Nation attacked.
“I’m calling it: another global pandemic-free year! And the sweet song of Lady Liberty spreading from that shining city on a hill in Washington, D.C.!”
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2026 marks the first year in American history where a completely home-grown pandemic forces borders to close, and air-traffic to be redirected as to avoid receiving American passengers. The EU, Arab League, and countless other countries congratulate themselves on rapidly orchestrating the containment of the disease to the USA; truly a landmark moment for international relations. Meanwhile, a Georgetown-based super-PAC “La di libertine” gains untold amounts of influence in government, following an uncannily well-timed short-sale of AI-based stocks. When asked about speculations as to their ties to Italian crime syndicates and fascist hardliners, they declined to comment.