It’s hard. Because when you into dump you don’t really participate in reciprocal conversation in that moment. You’re talking at someone rather than to them…
I also like listening to people speak. But If it doesn’t go both ways, then it’s an issue of whether they see me or not. It’s not a conversation it’s more of an academic lecture.Most people at first meeting aren’t ready for that, which is fair, because it’s a lot.
I’ve found a lot of times that the conversation only goes one way in the end. It’s hard to get to know people who only want to discuss their own interests, even if they are cool, you know? Anyway, not bashing, but this is why some people may shy away.
it depends on the dump. are you just talking about contextless minutiae or are you establishing a frame of reference and creating (not explaining) a narrative?
This is also a very good distinction. I think in a lot of situations people run into, it’s the former. Where if it’s thr later you’re more likely to find someone passionate about your thing, especially if you’ve built up to it with small talk or mutual interest or something.
Erika Sanborne, autistic educator and researcher, describes it as “enthusiastically communicating a large quantity of words, with an inordinate amount of detail, about one super interesting category of information, all at once, interpersonally.” Info dumping is often called a love language because it’s a way for autistic individuals to express what they are passionate about with those they care about most.
My wife and I call them unskippable cutscenes and we share ours with each other all the time. Sure we don’t always understand the details, but we do understand the passion we both have for the cutscenes we start and it’s adorable to watch as the sole audience member.
No, that’s how you meet people. That’s not the only way to meet people.
I’ve seen the same people around the different skate spots or climbing gyms. I see them try and fail to land some trick a hundred times, or try and fail some boulder a hundred times. Then I see them make it for the first time and I shout hell yeah Tom. They do the same for me. By law you’re now homies.
Roll up to your local weekly Street Fighter tournament. Lose against the same Guile player a dozen times in a row. Every week ask him for some friendly matches til you learn to beat Guile. Fist bump them once you get a win. By law you’re now homies.
Walk down the local haunted railroad track on a friday night. Get scared by some local teens who jump out at you. Spot someone else down the rail who’s walking your way. Hide back in the bush with the teens and wait to jump scare the next passerby. You are all blood-bound as homies.
Pick up some nerf guns off craigslist for $10 on your way to work or whatever. Spot the nearest person who looks like they’d play softball and shoot a dart at them. Softball Lesbians love nerf wars. Throw them a gun. Start a nerf war on the sidewalk. You’ve acquired a war homie.
Go to a local makerspace/workshop. Build some RF Drum Sticks that bang on a real drum 5 feet away when you waggle them in the air. Ask people to play it while you “Calibrate the sticks”. Watch them pop off. You’re now band mates.
I hate talking to people but I love doing stuff. This is all real shit that’s gotten me some friends without really talking to them. You just gotta do things in your free time. For every 10 nights you go do some dumb fun shit on your own only one of those nights leads to you finding someone who’s down to clown but that’s alright. It’s a thousand times better than the people you make friends with by talking about holiday plans with Marvin from Accounting. No hate to Marvin.
I met my wife at a roller disco, just skating around messing about, shared joy at an activity. We were 15 and dated for a few years subsequently. Didn’t work out then, but years later, went back due to younger sibs and relived a bit of youth, there we were again. Rest is history.
How do you meet people who can make you happy if you don’t do small talk? That’s literally how you meet people
You can always infodump, if they stick around they’re a keeper.
High stakes gambling isn’t for the weak of heart
Only keeping people around who ignore huge red flags, huh
Damn having an interest while ND is a redflag now?
It’s hard. Because when you into dump you don’t really participate in reciprocal conversation in that moment. You’re talking at someone rather than to them…
I also like listening to people speak. But If it doesn’t go both ways, then it’s an issue of whether they see me or not. It’s not a conversation it’s more of an academic lecture.Most people at first meeting aren’t ready for that, which is fair, because it’s a lot.
I’ve found a lot of times that the conversation only goes one way in the end. It’s hard to get to know people who only want to discuss their own interests, even if they are cool, you know? Anyway, not bashing, but this is why some people may shy away.
it depends on the dump. are you just talking about contextless minutiae or are you establishing a frame of reference and creating (not explaining) a narrative?
This is also a very good distinction. I think in a lot of situations people run into, it’s the former. Where if it’s thr later you’re more likely to find someone passionate about your thing, especially if you’ve built up to it with small talk or mutual interest or something.
Bringing up an interest you have is small talk. Dumping is a red flag
Personally I find that attitude a redflag. I love hearing passionate people speak.
You weren’t talking about people speaking passionately, you’re talking about verbally dumping on people
https://autismawarenesscentre.com/what-is-autistic-info-dumping/
Come again?
My wife and I call them unskippable cutscenes and we share ours with each other all the time. Sure we don’t always understand the details, but we do understand the passion we both have for the cutscenes we start and it’s adorable to watch as the sole audience member.
Everybody has issues they need to work on, if you can talk openly about those “red flagish” issues, maybe its not that hard to be around you…
No, that’s how you meet people. That’s not the only way to meet people.
I’ve seen the same people around the different skate spots or climbing gyms. I see them try and fail to land some trick a hundred times, or try and fail some boulder a hundred times. Then I see them make it for the first time and I shout hell yeah Tom. They do the same for me. By law you’re now homies.
Roll up to your local weekly Street Fighter tournament. Lose against the same Guile player a dozen times in a row. Every week ask him for some friendly matches til you learn to beat Guile. Fist bump them once you get a win. By law you’re now homies.
Walk down the local haunted railroad track on a friday night. Get scared by some local teens who jump out at you. Spot someone else down the rail who’s walking your way. Hide back in the bush with the teens and wait to jump scare the next passerby. You are all blood-bound as homies.
Pick up some nerf guns off craigslist for $10 on your way to work or whatever. Spot the nearest person who looks like they’d play softball and shoot a dart at them. Softball Lesbians love nerf wars. Throw them a gun. Start a nerf war on the sidewalk. You’ve acquired a war homie.
Go to a local makerspace/workshop. Build some RF Drum Sticks that bang on a real drum 5 feet away when you waggle them in the air. Ask people to play it while you “Calibrate the sticks”. Watch them pop off. You’re now band mates.
I hate talking to people but I love doing stuff. This is all real shit that’s gotten me some friends without really talking to them. You just gotta do things in your free time. For every 10 nights you go do some dumb fun shit on your own only one of those nights leads to you finding someone who’s down to clown but that’s alright. It’s a thousand times better than the people you make friends with by talking about holiday plans with Marvin from Accounting. No hate to Marvin.
I met my wife at a roller disco, just skating around messing about, shared joy at an activity. We were 15 and dated for a few years subsequently. Didn’t work out then, but years later, went back due to younger sibs and relived a bit of youth, there we were again. Rest is history.