Okay. I may read the room wrong which does happen sometimes so feel free to correct me but…
To me, you sound heavily judgemental, even borderline aggressive. Some people - me from the past included - need these small moments like feeling again like a kid to build up motivation and yearning for betterment before they can even start working on themselves. It’s rarely a matter of simply willing it to happen, and for some reason people who already feel different and unhappy don’t react well to being patronised and judged.
If you want folk to move forward, offer support. To come out of shell you need to feel safer rather than pressured.
I am very aggressive about some topics and unapologetic. I have seen too much hate and death and loss to feel like I need to be gentle with people who are ostensibly on my side. People retreating from discomfort is how we have such an atomized world with so many people withdrawing from socializating, and as a result, abandoning the only real power we had which is community.
Seeing nostalgia for what it is, a tool of destruction, is a hard step to get over, but once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
Your first sentence does clear up some space for me so…
I do feel for you and I symphatise with your point but my experience and what I saw in others screams at me that pushing and judging people only brings more suffering, because the only reaction to that is going on the defense. Even if they agree, they will protect themselves first, ask questions later…if ever.
Nostalgia can be a drive for better or a brake, depends on the person - as an example, it was what pushed me to finally better my mental state. I remembered how I was, and how I felt and I wanted to go back. And I did, at least mentally. Demons still out there but as you said in first comment in this chain, it ain’t gonna go away. But I wouldn’t be better if not for nostalgia, among other things, so yeah.
Okay. I may read the room wrong which does happen sometimes so feel free to correct me but…
To me, you sound heavily judgemental, even borderline aggressive. Some people - me from the past included - need these small moments like feeling again like a kid to build up motivation and yearning for betterment before they can even start working on themselves. It’s rarely a matter of simply willing it to happen, and for some reason people who already feel different and unhappy don’t react well to being patronised and judged.
If you want folk to move forward, offer support. To come out of shell you need to feel safer rather than pressured.
I am very aggressive about some topics and unapologetic. I have seen too much hate and death and loss to feel like I need to be gentle with people who are ostensibly on my side. People retreating from discomfort is how we have such an atomized world with so many people withdrawing from socializating, and as a result, abandoning the only real power we had which is community.
Seeing nostalgia for what it is, a tool of destruction, is a hard step to get over, but once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
Your first sentence does clear up some space for me so…
I do feel for you and I symphatise with your point but my experience and what I saw in others screams at me that pushing and judging people only brings more suffering, because the only reaction to that is going on the defense. Even if they agree, they will protect themselves first, ask questions later…if ever.
Nostalgia can be a drive for better or a brake, depends on the person - as an example, it was what pushed me to finally better my mental state. I remembered how I was, and how I felt and I wanted to go back. And I did, at least mentally. Demons still out there but as you said in first comment in this chain, it ain’t gonna go away. But I wouldn’t be better if not for nostalgia, among other things, so yeah.