There is a way you can quietly, unobtrusively support these people: just get to know them. If you get to know people, and by this I mean really listen, and take interest in what they say when they speak of whatever is important to them, later on all the little ways you can help will arise from that personal, direct knowledge over time, and between now and then maybe you’ve made a friend.
I’m not saying drape yourself over their cubicle wall and ask them detailed questions about their national traditions until you’re glowing and they’re weirded out; I’m saying get interested in who they are and what they have to say, and try to do it as naturally as you can. If you’re not good at friendly small talk, at least know their names and greet them like you’re glad to know them. In whatever way it means to you, be a friend so that when friends are needed, you’re on their list.
And it all starts right where you are now: wanting to help and having no idea how. But you asked. To me, that counts.
Getting to know people before the trouble starts is how you know the best ways to act in their behalf if they ever need it, in ways that do not trample their agency or cause humiliation or, god forbid, increase their dread. As a nation of citizens we have been set at each others’ throats for far too long, a division that only succeeds because we plant ourselves behind screens and let complete strangers tell us what to think and how to feel. In doing this, we have forgotten how to just be friends. So start there. Pay attention to others. Greet people when you see them, even a nod. Learn to listen. Take general interest. See who responds and who doesn’t. In time this will open every door that can be opened, and also allow those who have their own reasons for staying aloof the personal privacy they want.
I feel the whole shame thing, but if you can, give yourself permission to set it aside. Seriously. Everyone starts somewhere. You’re starting here, and honestly I’m grateful for every single one of us who is feeling just as lost and wondering right now what can I do to help? But you asked; you’ve already made a start. It’s a good one. No shame required. And if you have nothing better in mind, then the answer is, build community. However you can, wherever you can, in whatever small ways feel right to you so that when the shit starts you’re already known as an ally.
There is a way you can quietly, unobtrusively support these people: just get to know them. If you get to know people, and by this I mean really listen, and take interest in what they say when they speak of whatever is important to them, later on all the little ways you can help will arise from that personal, direct knowledge over time, and between now and then maybe you’ve made a friend.
I’m not saying drape yourself over their cubicle wall and ask them detailed questions about their national traditions until you’re glowing and they’re weirded out; I’m saying get interested in who they are and what they have to say, and try to do it as naturally as you can. If you’re not good at friendly small talk, at least know their names and greet them like you’re glad to know them. In whatever way it means to you, be a friend so that when friends are needed, you’re on their list.
Don’t think that this casual ongoing personal interaction is powerless: rather, it is the source of our greatest strength. Community is what is saving Minneapolis, community is what is defeating ICE, community is what is getting people spontaneously out on the streets in freezing weather to prove that together we – a whole lot of individual I’s – WE have no intention of quietly standing for this shit.
WE is the most powerful thing we have.
And it all starts right where you are now: wanting to help and having no idea how. But you asked. To me, that counts.
Getting to know people before the trouble starts is how you know the best ways to act in their behalf if they ever need it, in ways that do not trample their agency or cause humiliation or, god forbid, increase their dread. As a nation of citizens we have been set at each others’ throats for far too long, a division that only succeeds because we plant ourselves behind screens and let complete strangers tell us what to think and how to feel. In doing this, we have forgotten how to just be friends. So start there. Pay attention to others. Greet people when you see them, even a nod. Learn to listen. Take general interest. See who responds and who doesn’t. In time this will open every door that can be opened, and also allow those who have their own reasons for staying aloof the personal privacy they want.
I feel the whole shame thing, but if you can, give yourself permission to set it aside. Seriously. Everyone starts somewhere. You’re starting here, and honestly I’m grateful for every single one of us who is feeling just as lost and wondering right now what can I do to help? But you asked; you’ve already made a start. It’s a good one. No shame required. And if you have nothing better in mind, then the answer is, build community. However you can, wherever you can, in whatever small ways feel right to you so that when the shit starts you’re already known as an ally.
EDITED to add link