Even if Ricky Martin looked like aging milk left out in the sun in Arizona. I would still choose Ricky Martin.
Ricky Martin: Living la vida loca.
Kid rock: Living la vida coke-a.
i think it was steve-o who told a story about him and kid rock doing a mountain of coke all night. literally piled on a table
Drugs and alcohol can fry your brains.
His brain was already fried by being a wealthy white dude who think he hit a home run.
I was just telling my wife this morning that Rocky Martin looks SO GOOD - WHAT A FREAKIN’ HUNK!!!
Hate ages you worse than any other drug!
Have you seen chronic meth addicts?
The people in Breaking Bad didn’t look that bad, lolololo!
If every tweaker looked like Aaron Paul, I’d still be on that particular drug. Alas.
Ricky understands that part of his business is looking good, and good on him for taking good care of his body and staying in great shape. That’s teen idol stuff.
Kid Rock, well, he’s just a walking dumpster fire and always has been. If he hadn’t broken into the music industry he’d be an incel.
That’s what several shitty American beers a day will do to you.
Don’t forget the cocaine! Looooots of cocaine
I listened to the H3 podcast recently and apparently, kid rock made a song for the Osmosis Jones movie that had some very questionable lyrics when you consider that Osmosis Jones is based on a kid’s show about the body and how it works. You’d think they’d make lyrics relating to the body, word play on bacteria and immune systems and organs etc. but no. The entire song is about how kid rock gets high and drunk and rapes underaged girls on an island.
Examples:
See me cruisin’ in my Caddy
Hoes, they like to call me daddy
Cool, when I’m stylin’
Just rollin’ on the island
Now just in case I pack heat
Keep a case of brew in my backseat
Got a pocket full of cash, hey
Got a fatty in my ashtray
Also this lyric:
Can’t call me, just page me (Daddy, yeah)
Young ladies, young ladies
I like 'em underage, see
Some say that’s statutory
But I say it’s mandatory
Very wholesome and normal.
The best/worst part is the “I say it’s mandatory” isn’t Kid Rock, but a literal kid saying it…
Kid Rock looks like he’s waiting under a bridge to ask you his questions three.
I’m not sure he could think of 3 different questions.

Seinfeld would know, he likes them young too.
I kind of like that in the end of the Seinfeld series the writers just kind of up and admitted that the main characters are all terrible people. A lot of people didn’t get it, and I was confused at first because I was younger, but the more I look back at it, the better that ending gets.
I think it’s one of the strongest endings for a comedy sitcom out there.
Jesus… I feel like I just witnessed physical violence.
Kid Rock turned into Meth Rock
Kid Rock was born in January 1971 and Ricky Martin in December 1971. The difference in these roughly 11 months apparently means either looking like a rotting corpse pulled from a dumpster or like a fit latino daddy.
This is not a fair comparison. This is like saying “my ten day old dogshit sandwich tastes worse than my ten day old cake”
Don’t do kids, drugs!
Do some of the drugs kids. Just not the ones kid rock does.
Kids, at a certain point in life you’re going to feel an urge to cut back on the late nights partying and feel like you ought to eat better and exercise more, maybe even spend a Saturday hiking without drugs or alcohol. If you don’t listen to your body when it tells you that, you’ll wind up looking like kid rock. And if you don’t get that feeling by 30 pretend you did and do it anyways.
Less alcohol, more mushrooms, keep dancing and partying forever. The issue isn’t fun it’s alcohol.
Semi sober hikes are super awesome! I like smoking in nature. But drinking while hiking sounds miserable.
Drinking during a hike is fun if it’s a light hike and light drinking. Small beer would probably be excellent even on a little bit rougher. That said I’m one of those people who loves going on a long walk when I’m hammered. Like, if I still drank like I did in college people would have to keep me from doing a mile+ while shitfaced.
Different strokes, for different folk I guess.
I ain’t trying to harsh anyone’s mellow. It just ain’t for me.
Don’t do rock, kid.
Kid Rock looks like Dr. (Mr?) Phil in a greasy wig with somehow worse facial hair.
Fuck 'em both.





