A still from the movie Demolition Man in which some police officers prepare to confront a character played by Wesley Snipes.
Top Text: Demolition Man: A movie which depicts a horrifying dystopia…
Bottom Text:…in which food is too healthy, bidets are common, and cops literally don’t know how to assault a black man.
Listen I’m not here to explain to you how to properly clean your ass, especially when you are imagining a world where you can tell a bidet user by their wet ass mark.
No, my anxiety is that I can’t properly dry my ass which will leave a wet spot. And nobody ever explains to me how they avoid it.
How does toilet paper drying an ass use less when anytime I try to wipe my ass when it’s wet - after a shower, after being in the pool, etc - it’s a pain in the ass and I end up using more. Toilet paper doesn’t remove water, and just shreds itself. Do I need a blow dryer? Is there some special paper? What happens in a public bathroom with their cheap-ass paper?
What I do know is I’m not dropping a couple hundred bucks to find out that there isn’t actually a solution and I just sort of sit there for fifteen minutes waiting for my ass to dry.
But it’s cool, I’ll just continue in my worldview because I’m not worth the trouble.