I prefer to ignore deities that are incapable of hurting me.

In that case, I volunteer John Stewart as tribute!

To be fair, some of the censorship is words like “raped”, “young”, and “children”. Not in that exact order of course…

Due to “human rights” laws, we have to pay the slaves these days!

He just makes me feel good about myself.

You’ll never get rid of those core cultists. They’re the ones who would rather suspend all belief and listen to a “strong” leader.

Yup. The root cause is keeping the poors fighting amongst themselves so they don’t look up at the politicians and billionaires robbing them blind

What about the Arm Reattachment Device?!

That machine costs $100k per minute to run. And your insurance just laughed when we called.

Don’t worry. Amazon will pick it up, ruin the new season, and cancel it again.

New health care recommendation. Anytime you feel yourself getting sick, just tell yourself:

Well, duh. The future is full of sponsorships! The question is, which corporation do you fight for?

And with greater VPNs

War is peace.

Incoming “Trump appeals to the Supreme Court…”

“I’ll just veto it later…”

Useful Idiot. They’re so convinced that they’re on the winning side that facts don’t matter anymore.