What? No Mojo’s??

Highly location dependent. We have useable cell service in our house but Internet over 5G is slow.

Corporate America over here committing piracy en masse.

In my neighborhood you get a choice between coax or nothing.

I believe those are supposed to be pumps/high heels.

Mismanaged. Subsidizing shortfalls in the general fund using funds from the electric utility.

TLDR: The town owns its own electric utility and mismanaged the utility’s funds to the point of leaving the distribution system in severe disrepair.

Oh yeah? Well, my upcoming AI models pose a higher risk of enabling the discovery of the location of the long-lost Ark of the Covenant, which would [allegedly] make ones armies invincible and impervious to biological weapons.

Invest now!

I’m gonna go with “yes”.

Me: “You’re a fatty fat fat mean fat cat.”

Cat: “No shit, Captain Obvious. Now why haven’t you brought me my noms yet?”

Because everyone should live in a poorly constructed cookie cutter house and get into petty fights with their homeowners association the way God intended.

/S

My immune system encounters some pollen

“What is this Mickey Mouse shit!?”

Same genius who forced all his own employees back into the office. An incomprehensibly stupid maneuver by an organization that literally owes its success to people working from home.

Also losses. Gotta get that sweet, sweet too-big-to-fail bailout money.

Next time, I’ll definitely strike it rich.

Possibly the cruelest irony of adulthood is that autonomy comes with a shit load of terms and conditions.

For instance, I could eat cookies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day if I wanted to. But it would result in diabetes, obesity, and eventually death. So yes, theoretically I could do it. But not if I want to live for very long.

Damn shame too because I have a weakness for chocolate chip cookies.

We need more Golden Girls memes.

🎶Team Rocket Theme Intensifies🎶

“To protect the wold from deva- …uh… James, what the hell is that?”

“I don’t know.”

"Meeeeowwth! That’s right… Hey, wait a minute. That’s not Pikachu! Did you two numbskulls get the wrong coordinates again!?

Oh, wait. I think I see where this is going. This seems like a situation for James to handle. He’s …um… into this sort of thing."