I mean… I 100% agree, and yet you and I and everyone reading this are carrying around a phone that can do the exact same shit

…Plus

Every printer I can find is either formatted for A4/USA Letter, or little photo printers that probably require proprietary software which I doubt would work with regular text. I know some of those even require proprietary photo paper modules, which is why I gave up and never bought one.

I had a Canon ip100 years ago, I can recommend it and they still make a newer one, but it looks waaay bigger than your target size. Good luck

Honestly, the apple TV is the least spammy by a long shot. I also hear great things about the Nvidia shield, but it is pretty ancient by now. Or use a computer, but of course that’s got its own annoyances. Of course these are all the most expensive options, apparently for a reason.