Is workplace gossip just a painful fact of life? Is there a way to go beneath the radar with regards to coworkers and staff who base their life enjoyment discussing other people’s personal business? Is there a good model for reducing the amount of workplace gossip/reinforcing more pro social habits? Or is that just how people socialize? I realize that’s multiple forms of the question, but it is always something I think about working in a gossip culture.
Gossip is unavoidable. Humans are social critters. Be nice, friendly, and helpful to others and that is what they will talk about.
Related. Avoid being one of those “there’s no point to small talk” people. There’s a very good point. It’s to figure out who’s an asshole. You can come across as too important for other people if you don’t chit chat about the weather. I’m not saying it’s the way it should be or that it makes sense. It’s just the way things are.
There’s also nothing wrong with talking about people when they aren’t present. What you shouldn’t do is spread rumors or create drama. Saying you heard someone is going sailing on vacation to someone else. That is completely innocuous. Saying they are married and going with their former spouse is creating drama.
To me, staying below the radar is one part playing by those rules, and another part just being kind of boring. Seldom do I hear gossip about myself nor do I have anything to say about anyone else other than small talk. Hope that helps
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I have never known there to be any but im sure there is I just don’t engage in a way where I might hear it. Im a don’t shit where you eat type of person so I rarely do anything outside of work with anyone but im polite and cordial in the workplace. Even personable. I have to say though I have been out of work for well over a year now and you see folks saying to network but I have never gotten a job by knowing anyone except for some part time work in the summers during college where my brother told me about it. So maybe its good to gossip.
Nothing you ever enforce on people will stop them from talking with one another. Some people like to gossip. I find it be largely inconsequential until the gossip turns into fomenting lies or targeted harassment but then that’s no longer gossip and is harassment and should be treated as such.
I’d say lead by example and don’t engage with it yourself. What I would not do is fundamentally alter your presence to accommodate the gossipers or to avoid being targeted or something.
This is a really good point. Avoiding being a target is hard for some people. Masking can be exhausting for them and it’s unfair. I want their environment to be more hospitable somehow.
You won’t stop those that really want to gossip, judge and probe into peoples lives.
The method I used to express I’m not interested when they continue to engage, beside the obvious method of not engaging in it and not talking behind peoples backs, was to say:
Small minds talk about people, average minda talk about events, and great minds discuss ideas.
Then they can sit with that and figure out if they want to take the insult of being a small mind.
I also found that when there is the office Joke teller that just tells annoyingly lame jokes, that when they approach you and tell a joke, then reply with:
I heard Jokes are a prop for people who aren’t inherently funny.
They won’t approach you again :)
Organisations are social ecosystems. This happens. Some person I don’t know said online: it’s more important to be likable then to be good at your Job. Be good, kind, helpful to people, treat everyone with true interest for what they do and respect. Have some passion. Gossip will likely stop. They will protect you as a person and not try to find your problems.
