• wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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    3 hours ago

    It’s a bit of an overgeneralization to act like men are sex-obsessed and view relationships as a transaction where they can purchase sex by being nice.

    It’s human to want love and care, but so many people view men as only wanting sex, so if a man complains about being lonely, isolated, or being unloved, it seems like everyone jumps to the conclusion that he’s only talking about sex. Then they scorn him, reinforcing the pattern of loneliness and building the sense of frustration and being a victim of ostracization.

    Likewise, if a man is kind to a woman he’ll generally be regarded with suspicion, like “what are you trying to get out of this?” Some people just value kindness and try to be nice for the sake of being nice; but if it lands them with accusations and scorn then it’ll only go on so long before they stop. And then people will scorn them either for being rude to women or snubbing them. It seems it’s impossible to be a man in the vicinity of women without opening oneself to being labeled as a misogynist, no matter what you do.

    The reality is that men are also conscious and complex human beings, and depicting them as these simple and one-dimensional sex pests isn’t really moving the dialogue forward. All it does is give women a temporary feeling of moral superiority which they then chase like any other addiction.

    • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

      so many people view men as only wanting sex, so if a man complains about being lonely, isolated, or being unloved, it seems like everyone jumps to the conclusion that he’s only talking about sex. Then they scorn him, reinforcing the pattern of loneliness and building the sense of frustration and being a victim of ostracization.

      Precisely.

      Some people just value kindness and try to be nice for the sake of being nice; but if it lands them with accusations and scorn then it’ll only go on so long before they stop. And then people will scorn them either for being rude to women or snubbing them.

      Not only that, but that will mean that the only men remaining, who haven’t stopped, are that minority that are being transactional, which further distorts women’s perception of men as a whole.

      The reality is that men are also conscious and complex human beings, and depicting them as these simple and one-dimensional sex pests isn’t really moving the dialogue forward. All it does is give women a temporary feeling of moral superiority which they then chase like any other addiction.

      Couldn’t have said it any better myself.

      • Dicska@lemmy.world
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        2 hours ago

        Back around 2010, my girlfriend of the time ended up on someone’s page detailing how to pick up girls, and shortly prompting readers to buy their pheromone based product (obvious scam, but that’s not the point now). She got super upset. Outraged, even. She went on a rant about how she’s not a fucking moth that can just be lured by silly simple stuff like that.

        About a year later we took part in a competition where two attendees (2 girls, maybe a year or two younger) were desperately looking for accommodation. One of our rooms was empty that day, so we offered that to them with another flatmate (my GF wasn’t around that day).

        When she had heard about the whole thing, she got rather jealous. Didn’t matter how much I explained it to her that I am boringly faithful, that I only love her and I didn’t care about the girls romantically, or that I have always been like this: in her mind, if a guy is “alone” with 2 girls for the night (daytime is fine, but mystically, horny zombification happens at full moon), he will be as easy to seduce as it gets, not matter what (like any of those two girls wanted anything, anyway).

        Am I a fucking moth, then? It goes both ways.

        • Jarix@lemmy.world
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          1 hour ago

          Try to remember the 80/20 rule (may not be accurate with those exact numbers) 80 % of people on here are invisible and rarely make themselves noticed.

          The vocal minority skews perceptions but are often rather noisy about their opinions…which is just like my opinion, man

    • raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world
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      2 hours ago

      It’s a bit of an overgeneralization to act like men are sex-obsessed and view relationships as a transaction where they can purchase sex by being nice.

      I sincerely hope you are a woman overreacting in defense of the other gender. Because if you’re a man, you need to learn to appreciate some self-depreciating humor without getting butthurt. I could chuckle at the comic, because as usual, there is a (big) grain of truth in it.

      • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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        2 hours ago

        So you’re saying my argument is only valid if I’m a woman? And if I’m a man, I just need to learn to be more self-deprecating? What kind of double-standard is that?

        Good luck trying to tell women to “appreciate some self-deprecating humor without getting butthurt.” I’m sure that will turn out well for you.

        Or is it only men who need to be self-deprecating? Cause again, that would be a double standard.

        And if you find it self-deprecating to laugh at “men think sex is transactional,” then you’re telling on yourself. This comic is about you, so don’t act morally superior to men who don’t identify with it.