Did people expect anything else? Do you need critics to tell you this? This is just a bribe to a crime family of grifters.

Every time I see her pictures…I see Gold-digger, and she ain’t messing with not broke… Yeah we know what’s you’re all about Melania…

More people have paid to be in Melania than have paid to see ‘Melania.’

Love to see it, but yes, Bezos and Trump don’t care since the bribe happened.

Currently a 5 (out of 100) Metacritic score, with a user review score of 0.6 (out of 10).

Rotten Tomatoes at 8 (out of 100). No user review score yet, but there’s a big bot astroturfing campaign with 5-star reviews flooding the user reviews section.

Melania actually had a 12 minute sex scene where she humps a rhino.

You can’t prove that it didn’t happen because you didn’t watch the movie.

In a one-star review, The Guardian critic Xan Brooks slammed “Melania” as a film that “doesn’t have a single redeeming quality,” comparing it to a “medieval tribute to placate the greedy king on his throne.” Brooks said the film offers few revelations about its subject, who “moves through the action like a listless automaton, talking constantly but saying nothing.” In another one-star review, The Independent critic Nick Hilton called the first lady a “scowling void of pure nothingness in this ghastly bit of propaganda.” He suggested the film is “part sop to Big Tech companies who require constant regulatory approval for financial manoeuvrings,” citing Amazon’s big investment in the movie and appearances by billionaires Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg, who are included in footage of Trump’s inaugural celebrations. The Atlantic writer Sophie Gilbert called “Melania” a “disgrace,” criticizing Trump for profiting off the project while in office. Other critics said the documentary was aimless and that Trump appeared to be uncomfortable being filmed. Variety critic Daniel D’Addario said the documentary is “primarily a film about a woman walking into and out of rooms,” while Gilbert said Ratner “seems desperate to find action, but there is none, stating for much of the film, the camera captures Trump “walking from liminal place to liminal place in five-inch heels.”

👏
It’s
👏
A
👏
Bribe!

It was successful the day she got paid. After that, it doesn’t matter.

Why would it have been anything else?

This film better win some razzies