For me it’s at work where we don’t acknowledge what’s really happening and it is starting to drive me a little mad.
I work in a very diverse workforce, but for a very old fashioned company, and politics are not spoken of.
But I am surrounded by immigrants and people who are probably here on work visas, or are just dark skinned, and I have to think they are living with a constant background fear that is steadily rising but they never talk about it and I never say anything. I have a whole cycle of shame with it.
Most of my coworkers in my area are older and white, but the rest of the company is highly mixed. I know most of them are Republicans and are enjoying this sick show even if they’re not saying it. Most days I just want to scream.
There is a way you can quietly, unobtrusively support these people: just get to know them. If you get to know people, and by this I mean really listen, and take interest in what they say when they speak of whatever is important to them, later on all the little ways you can help will arise from that personal, direct knowledge over time, and between now and then maybe you’ve made a friend.
I’m not saying drape yourself over their cubicle wall and ask them detailed questions about their national traditions until you’re glowing and they’re weirded out; I’m saying get interested in who they are and what they have to say, and try to do it as naturally as you can. If you’re not good at friendly small talk, at least know their names and greet them like you’re glad to know them. In whatever way it means to you, be a friend so that when friends are needed, you’re on their list.
And it all starts right where you are now: wanting to help and having no idea how. But you asked. To me, that counts.
Getting to know people before the trouble starts is how you know the best ways to act in their behalf if they ever need it, in ways that do not trample their agency or cause humiliation or, god forbid, increase their dread. As a nation of citizens we have been set at each others’ throats for far too long, a division that only succeeds because we plant ourselves behind screens and let complete strangers tell us what to think and how to feel. In doing this, we have forgotten how to just be friends. So start there. Pay attention to others. Greet people when you see them, even a nod. Learn to listen. Take general interest. See who responds and who doesn’t. In time this will open every door that can be opened, and also allow those who have their own reasons for staying aloof the personal privacy they want.
I feel the whole shame thing, but if you can, give yourself permission to set it aside. Seriously. Everyone starts somewhere. You’re starting here, and honestly I’m grateful for every single one of us who is feeling just as lost and wondering right now what can I do to help? But you asked; you’ve already made a start. It’s a good one. No shame required. And if you have nothing better in mind, then the answer is, build community. However you can, wherever you can, in whatever small ways feel right to you so that when the shit starts you’re already known as an ally.
I’m in Canada but also a very diverse group of people around me at all times. I make it very clear with everyone that politics aside, I have all their backs regardless of race, colour or creed. Differences are what makes us stronger not weaker and anyone who is afraid of differences shows themselves as weak.
Work is already a compartmentalized space for many people. Some places, by rote, have no politics or religion on their daily, invisible walls in existence for decades before Trump in power was even a thought. To have that in the workplace is normal. Mileage varies, no doubt, there is no 100% with people.
Sometimes you run into That Person who breaks the rules and makes the entire room break eye contact, bow head, and disengage to focus on work. There’s a reason most people don’t talk to them.
Where this is going to resonate most, now, is for people who do most of their in person talking to others at their job. For people who only encounter non white people at their job.
For me, work is the reprieve zone from it all. I have a job to do, my focus is on it. At least until we too have Immigration & Customs Enforcement in our halls.
Again, compartmentalization. Not just to do a better, more focused job (how much this matters also depends on what the job is, to you) but to engage in a mental moment of reprieve from thinking about our fallen republic.
For me it’s at work where we don’t acknowledge what’s really happening and it is starting to drive me a little mad.
I work in a very diverse workforce, but for a very old fashioned company, and politics are not spoken of.
But I am surrounded by immigrants and people who are probably here on work visas, or are just dark skinned, and I have to think they are living with a constant background fear that is steadily rising but they never talk about it and I never say anything. I have a whole cycle of shame with it.
Most of my coworkers in my area are older and white, but the rest of the company is highly mixed. I know most of them are Republicans and are enjoying this sick show even if they’re not saying it. Most days I just want to scream.
There is a way you can quietly, unobtrusively support these people: just get to know them. If you get to know people, and by this I mean really listen, and take interest in what they say when they speak of whatever is important to them, later on all the little ways you can help will arise from that personal, direct knowledge over time, and between now and then maybe you’ve made a friend.
I’m not saying drape yourself over their cubicle wall and ask them detailed questions about their national traditions until you’re glowing and they’re weirded out; I’m saying get interested in who they are and what they have to say, and try to do it as naturally as you can. If you’re not good at friendly small talk, at least know their names and greet them like you’re glad to know them. In whatever way it means to you, be a friend so that when friends are needed, you’re on their list.
Don’t think that this casual ongoing personal interaction is powerless: rather, it is the source of our greatest strength. Community is what is saving Minneapolis, community is what is defeating ICE, community is what is getting people spontaneously out on the streets in freezing weather to prove that together we – a whole lot of individual I’s – WE have no intention of quietly standing for this shit.
WE is the most powerful thing we have.
And it all starts right where you are now: wanting to help and having no idea how. But you asked. To me, that counts.
Getting to know people before the trouble starts is how you know the best ways to act in their behalf if they ever need it, in ways that do not trample their agency or cause humiliation or, god forbid, increase their dread. As a nation of citizens we have been set at each others’ throats for far too long, a division that only succeeds because we plant ourselves behind screens and let complete strangers tell us what to think and how to feel. In doing this, we have forgotten how to just be friends. So start there. Pay attention to others. Greet people when you see them, even a nod. Learn to listen. Take general interest. See who responds and who doesn’t. In time this will open every door that can be opened, and also allow those who have their own reasons for staying aloof the personal privacy they want.
I feel the whole shame thing, but if you can, give yourself permission to set it aside. Seriously. Everyone starts somewhere. You’re starting here, and honestly I’m grateful for every single one of us who is feeling just as lost and wondering right now what can I do to help? But you asked; you’ve already made a start. It’s a good one. No shame required. And if you have nothing better in mind, then the answer is, build community. However you can, wherever you can, in whatever small ways feel right to you so that when the shit starts you’re already known as an ally.
EDITED to add link
Be the change you want to see then?
I’m in Canada but also a very diverse group of people around me at all times. I make it very clear with everyone that politics aside, I have all their backs regardless of race, colour or creed. Differences are what makes us stronger not weaker and anyone who is afraid of differences shows themselves as weak.
Work is already a compartmentalized space for many people. Some places, by rote, have no politics or religion on their daily, invisible walls in existence for decades before Trump in power was even a thought. To have that in the workplace is normal. Mileage varies, no doubt, there is no 100% with people.
Sometimes you run into That Person who breaks the rules and makes the entire room break eye contact, bow head, and disengage to focus on work. There’s a reason most people don’t talk to them.
Where this is going to resonate most, now, is for people who do most of their in person talking to others at their job. For people who only encounter non white people at their job.
For me, work is the reprieve zone from it all. I have a job to do, my focus is on it. At least until we too have Immigration & Customs Enforcement in our halls.
Again, compartmentalization. Not just to do a better, more focused job (how much this matters also depends on what the job is, to you) but to engage in a mental moment of reprieve from thinking about our fallen republic.