Invisibility.
You emit an unmaskable and extremely noticeable odour whenever invisible.
That’s fine. That’ll just mean I’m a airborne disease since my invisibility would be infinite.
Master poet level fluency in all languages
Terribly loud non-stop belching
You can now hardly remember anything else (as happened to me, my memory is full of Chinese vocab with no space for anything else).
The power to talk to women without staring at their feet.
In long-dead languages they can’t understand
Deal. I’m Autistic so that’s barely any different.
Fall asleep at any time and place by will
It is impossible to wake up until you are fully rested, including by alarm, fire, or intruder.
I either wake up rested or not my problem anymore.
But when you wake up, you’re in a random spot in the wilderness. Every time.
I’ll stick with the strongest superpower of them all, I am Cables Never Tangle Man!
But you cannot tie knots anymore. Even worse - every knot you touch magically slips open. Be careful not to trip over your shoelaces!
Velcro has entered the chat…
So many tiny little knots
It’s going to look like a shag rug as soon as they touch it
Every time you get an error it is unknown error
Your cables break every 3 days
Shapeshifting to any other human or humanoid body
But you can only do so by singing, “The Lion Sleeps Tonight,” as loudly as you can.
But you also shift into that humans or humanoids personality
Manifest any superpower at will
It gives one month of bad luck for each time used. If the power is activated to help others without benefit for yourself, then it’s sloppy good luck instead. You are fortunate in a tragic way.
The timer and type is reset each time power manifested
… that then gets applied to everyone within 100 metres of you on top of yourself.
Lol, I’d still take it. All I can say is the people flying with me better keep close. Ditto the ones breathing under water
Teleportation!
But you have to go through TSA every time
Honestly, still well worth it. And with pre-check it’s even faster.
😂 I’m on the shitter at work damn you, can’t be laughing out loud!
You can only teleport to random places
Random place WITHOUT obstacle detection or height limit makes this risssky… 😆
Super strength
You can’t use anything but maximum super strength, all the time.
Ouch, yeah that’s going to really ruin fondue night.
I’m gonna jerk off. Oh no…
Username checks out 😄
The power to reply to my own comment.
but you have multiple personality disorder
You become god.
(Not oc, this is a known joke)
Super good luck ala Domino of the X-Men.
It’s good luck for the first half of your life, then its bad luck the second half
X ray vision
Everyone in your line of sight gets the full radioactive dosage
It cannot be regulated
