Also differs person to person, but I think there is a useful highlight in here.
Traditionally being the “dominant” gender, men are expected to show signs of attention towards women to “earn” their affection (which the meme is essentially about).
But when it comes the other way around, it both breaks the social script and gives men something they severely lack - feeling that they matter, that they are worthy of attention, that they can be loved for who they are and not for what they do. And when someone is ready to break traditional norms and actively wants to give you something you never even hoped to receive, it lets the guard down pretty rapidly.
Overall, the solution to both, in my eyes, is for women to show more of such behavior, normalizing women initiating relationships and showing their affection from the start.
The reason men often go after women despite being refused is that culture often mixes “no as no” and “no as playful yes”. If women would be casually able to initiate relationships, signals would get much clearer, sparing everyone a ton of discomfort and allowing to actually build the culture of consent. Also, there would be less space for manipulation through abusing people’s needs.
Literally if you’re nice to me I’ll be attracted to you eventually.
This isn’t a unique, debilitating flaw. This is most people. Five decades navigating human interaction has shown me over and over that most of us are so desperate for connection that we will rapidly bond with all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons. Men and women alike, all day long.
The thing about those pickup art grifters and redpill bullshit sites, is that they’re framing this like some kind of jedi trick, but it’s fantastically easy to make people like you, your challenge though to be better than those scumbags is to not do it for false pretenses. Just literally make people feel good and you will have more options in your life for intimacy.
If more people understood that almost everyone actually does work like the vending machine we would understand how broken we each are and be able to stop treating ourselves like vending machines.
It’s not on you if someone tricks and victimizes you, but it is on you to recognize and practice some form of value system and self-respect so that you don’t build a story in your head to explain why you’re in love with your coworker who treats you nice.
OK but it is how men work
Also differs person to person, but I think there is a useful highlight in here.
Traditionally being the “dominant” gender, men are expected to show signs of attention towards women to “earn” their affection (which the meme is essentially about).
But when it comes the other way around, it both breaks the social script and gives men something they severely lack - feeling that they matter, that they are worthy of attention, that they can be loved for who they are and not for what they do. And when someone is ready to break traditional norms and actively wants to give you something you never even hoped to receive, it lets the guard down pretty rapidly.
Overall, the solution to both, in my eyes, is for women to show more of such behavior, normalizing women initiating relationships and showing their affection from the start.
The reason men often go after women despite being refused is that culture often mixes “no as no” and “no as playful yes”. If women would be casually able to initiate relationships, signals would get much clearer, sparing everyone a ton of discomfort and allowing to actually build the culture of consent. Also, there would be less space for manipulation through abusing people’s needs.
Literally if you’re nice to me I’ll be attracted to you eventually. I don’t think this is healthy, it’s been abused in the past lol
This isn’t a unique, debilitating flaw. This is most people. Five decades navigating human interaction has shown me over and over that most of us are so desperate for connection that we will rapidly bond with all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons. Men and women alike, all day long.
The thing about those pickup art grifters and redpill bullshit sites, is that they’re framing this like some kind of jedi trick, but it’s fantastically easy to make people like you, your challenge though to be better than those scumbags is to not do it for false pretenses. Just literally make people feel good and you will have more options in your life for intimacy.
If more people understood that almost everyone actually does work like the vending machine we would understand how broken we each are and be able to stop treating ourselves like vending machines.
It’s not on you if someone tricks and victimizes you, but it is on you to recognize and practice some form of value system and self-respect so that you don’t build a story in your head to explain why you’re in love with your coworker who treats you nice.
Except the output can be either “i think you like me” or “i think you’re trying to sell me something or take advantage of me”.
Or it can rapidly switch back and forth between both.
Only if the vending machine is sexy to begin with.
…so? 🥺