"A person can be smart — but people are dumb, dangerous, panicky animals, and you know it "
Agent K
This is why I shut down many friendships before they get “too real”
I have issues with trusting people after getting gaslit by a coworker she was acting all affectionate towards me, then turned out she was in a relationship, and she was saying shit about me being creepy. Like… Then why talk to me? I actively avoided her after that, and distanced myself from her.
I also have issues with trusting people but only because I’ve met some of them.
better to be cautious and loved than gullible and burned
Is it better to be locked in a room all your life or occasionally get a burn from the sun?
In my case, I have found through therapy that it’s about lack of confidence in myself to protect myself and heal from the pain of a failed relationship.
Once I started telling myself I’m stronger than I think I am, and that love is a risk worth taking, I’m a lot more confident putting myself out there.
As a legitimate question what do I do if someone else is like this? Being around that makes me feel sad because I don’t feel trusted and like they think I’m dangerous, I don’t want to try and force it or anything, and fully understand why they are that way, it’s just I really don’t like feeling like “you are dangerous.”
I’ve been in a similar situation. It seems it’s the only type of person I seem to attract. They pursue me, only when I eventually reciprocate they freak out, and self-sabotage ensues. In my case, the only thing was to walk away, because they were dragging me down with them. Some people can get past the trust issues (I have my own issues that I’ve been working through), but others can’t. So I don’t actually have any advice, sorry.
I think my advice would be to just give them space and let them approach you in their own time
“What’s their end game?” /s
Good for you!
Pro tip: The best thing would be to have paranoid delusions that can never be confirmed nor denied, preferably by setting up a big long-term master plan that is so long-term that it will outlast the relationship or even you. Since you can neither confirm nor deny your delusions, it will always stay in your mind, thanks to the absurd degree of ambiguity that your world view has, ensuring self-isolating behaviour for a lifetime! /s
I know this is as wrong of a place as any (except maybe the couch of a Therapist) to voice this, but I feel like I am in a part of this situation but in reverse:
I always try to openly communicate that my affection does not come from love or is at its core pure. And yet sometimes a poor soul ignores my warning and decides to ignore the signs and gives their love anyways. They all break under it sooner or later. A prisoner of my own Fate I won’t stop either as isolation would break me if I would not consume a lover from time to time.
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You are presenting what appears to be a disingenuous narrative, with cynicism at its core.
Some of us are in love with amazing people, but we struggle with severe trust issues. It’s a very serious problem for us, even if it may not be for you.
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