• Ephera@lemmy.ml
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    17 hours ago

    I blame romance movies and novels and such. It’s such utter bullshit, how the stereotypical storyline is that she rejects him at first and then he’s just really desperate persistent and then she eventually softens up and they’re married ever after.

    Some women like that little dance of rejecting and the guy not giving up, but even then only if they think you’re cute beforehand.
    But most women will just find that creepy and off-putting. They want to have a partner they actually find attractive themselves, not just any partner who finds them attractive enough to persist through humiliation.

    • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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      2 hours ago

      Some women like that little dance of rejecting and the guy not giving up, but even then only if they think you’re cute beforehand. But most women will just find that creepy and off-putting.

      The big frustration comes with the fact that the “most” women above are still happily consuming the romance movies/novels with the toxic paradigm you describe, along with the “some”. And then they’ll turn around and get indignant about it existing in real life, while promoting/encouraging it culturally simultaneously.

      Look at the colossal sales figures for 50 Shades of Grey, what percentage of that do you think came from men?

    • Baggie@lemmy.zip
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      7 hours ago

      Yeah I literally spent the first few decades of my life thinking this because nobody told me how it actually works, and media was all I had to go on.

    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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      11 hours ago

      The guys in these romance movies also tend to be fairly handsome and charming. The rejections are more often because the woman has had bad experiences with men and is careful. Or something else like that. Or maybe she’s got an abusive boyfriend she hasn’t left yet. Whereas in real life it’s entirely possible to just not be that person’s type.

    • CarrotsHaveEars@lemmy.ml
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      15 hours ago

      I blame them too.

      The stereotype need to die.

      Some men take rejections seriously. If you blow them off then they move on. In some cases men find it really hurts because they know they’ll be good together.

      Can we go back to when no Tinder, no social media to carry out these “modern” romance practice please? No more stupid romance movies. And please every country pass a law to put a disclaimer on Jane Austen’s books, saying “This romance story never happened.”