Fun fact: this comic introduced me to Pratchett! His following quote on Elves is why I tend to find them lacking in most TTRPGs
"Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
No one ever said elves are nice.
Elves are bad."
Me too! At 52 I had heard about Discworld forever and this comic finally got me to read Hogfather. Read the whole series twice, thrice soon.
I’m a little confused what this means, is it saying the fact that the positive attributes associated with elves is a twisting of the actual terrible qualities and that’s why no one’s ever called elves nice?
Discworld elves are basically fae, not Tolkien style elves.
This quote makes much more sense if you apply it to the glamoured up bastards who steal babies and enslave you if you give them your name.
They’re also interdimensional parasites, which would also be an appropriate description for fae.
(For context, they appear in the book Lords and Ladies — third or fourth in the Witches series, depending on whether you include Equal Rites —, which is heavily inspired by Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream.)
Honestly Terry Pratchett just went back to the roots with his elves, elves and fae are basically a collection of minor spirits to gods in their own right on a mythological level they also run the mortality spectrum from the being downright nice like the green knight/green man to actively hostile to all humans. Similarly dwarves were seen as mountain gods/spirits, frankly pre-christian Europe and even post Christian Europe was so steeped in animism which is why you get so many things under such weirdly broad umbrellas.
All these supernatural things had varying beliefs attached to them in different times and places… So there’s really a lot of choice as to what to attribute them in fiction.
Norse dwarves weren’t necessarily small, elves sometimes were, both were often magical in some way - the words used were interchangeable in some ways.
*morality
Well the green knight/ green man is famous for having his head chopped off. But also I hate autocorrect.
Elves are constantly twisting the narrative about themselves, despite all the stories of how awful they are, people struggle to remember them that way. Grandma always said elves were… terrific.
If she can lift a whole ass sword at that age, fuck it, she earned it.
I have several swords. Some are light and nimble, at least for an adult, like my Messers are all around 800g, 90cm-ish in length, with point of balance at around 11-13cm. I think a child should have no problem wielding them if they do it with care. Then there is a 170cm Zweihänder, weighted about 3kg, PoB at 11cm. I have no doubt a child would be able to lift it, but to use it, it would be very hard. If she can use that adult-size-looking-sword in the picture then she definitely earned it. ;)
They only weigh a couple pounds.
Do you know how weak little kids are? Most can barely lift a gallon of milk or juice
They can lift it long enough and high enough to create maximum spillage
Depending on the sword, a gallon of milk is between three and six times the weight of the sword.
(not disagreeing with anyone, simply making observations from experience)
A German zweihander sword weighs around 8lbs, a gallon of milk is around 7. A typical hand and a half sword around 4, and a rapier can be as light as 2lbs easily.
The issue isn’t really the weight though in my opinion, it’s where the weight is distributed.
A gallon of milk is concentrated in a pretty small package that you can hold close to your own center of gravity.
A sword is long and it’s weight, by design, is usually not close to the hilt of the blade. I’m not 100% sure on historic examples, but I try to keep the weight centered around 1/3 up the length of the blade on ones I make.
Practical upshot is that a lighter sword will flop around and stab people easier than a gallon of milk is dropped due to weight.
If you want a child to be accidentally dangerous, give them a sword. If you want them to be dangerous on purpose, give them a fixed blade knife under 7in.
100% sure on historic examples
The plagerism machine says 2-10 inches, 2 inches is consistent with the 1 historical sword I’ve held.
Can confirm tho about kids being bad with unbalanced blades, gave my nephew a 3 ft machete to help cut down some banana plants, he couldn’t swing it levelly so it got stuck in the plant every time, and he was a danger to anyone within 10 feet.
Maybe try balancing a sword right infront of the guard, maybe it’ll feel more nimble.
Either way, that will be an important lesson
A gallon of milk is over 7lb
Little kids are built different in Ankh-Morpork
Unless they are ceremonial.
_Huge
Really, REALLY depends on the sword. Lots of them are heavy even for an adult to carry with both hands, let alone one.
About 2 or 3 times a year I have a little breakdown over just how unfair Sir Pratchett’s death really was. GNU Terry
I do worry that the thing people take away from this is “Death is a role model for not coddling children” rather than “Death, due to his odd perspective on mortality, would make a terrible parent”.
That will be an important lesson
“Death is a friend who will welcome me home”
Pratchett nails it: tools aren’t ‘safe’—using them well is. Teach respect + basics (supervision, safety rules, practice) and the lesson sticks without the scars.
I love Death. I want my next horse to be a white gelding and I wanna name him Binky.
What’s your current horse collection?
I have a single horse lol. An old mare named Sandy.
I remember jungle gyms. They taught a lot of lessons on how to discover personal limits and how to safely exceed them.
The loss of jungle gyms from our playgrounds are - I feel, as just one attribute of many, - directly contributing to our emerging young adults lacking the self-confidence and risk-evaluation skills they require to succeed.
Our 70s playground was fabricated by medieval iron mongers. But we had nice, chunky rocks to break our fall!
We’ve removed all risk from our children’s lives, and then we’re dumbfounded that they’re scared about stupid shit. Got called “a fucking idiot” on reddit for saying I often skinny dipped in the local creek, and the crowd agreed. Dangerous behavior indeed!
And now that many of these young adults are parents themselves, they are bubble-wrapping the next generation.
Meanwhile, those of us who still remember what it was like to be “free-range” as a child are absolutely confused AF when other parents are arrested and charged with child endangerment for letting their kid walk two kilometres by themselves to the store.
Like, in what brain-dead reality is this a crime??
kind of depends on the creek. The one from my home town was full of broken bottles.
I learned to use and how to safely handle knives in the boy scouts at, like… 9? Maybe earlier? Less likely to hurt themselves with training and supervision.
Just curious, does this line of thinking transfer to guns for you?
It does for me!
The movie is great too. It’s on Amazon.
Don’t give a single penny to amazon.
The movie is great too. It’s pirateable.
That’s better.
The movie is great too. It’s on Peacock.
GNU Sir Terry
GNU Terry
I remember my first pocket knife. I cut myself. It was an important lesson. I no longer cut towards myself 😅
It might be better to start her off with a Lancrastian Army Knife instead.
I remember somewhere that nomadic people (hunter-gatherers) would let their kids play with machetes. They would keep a close watch but not stop them. Kids would grow up with many scars but also would learn how to handle machetes safely.
What if she cuts someone else?
that will also be an important lesson… stay away from child with a sword
What if the child can outrun you?
Then maybe you should have thought twice before leaving them so much climate change
You take away their pumped-up kicks!
Well, you didn’t leave the house without your sword again, did you?
negotiate
While holding a heavy sword?
Eeeeyyyy! Someone’s making comics from Discworld?
